Very cool concept! When you mentioned that you were writing John/crystal!John, this wasn't what I was expecting at all. This is such an original take on that trope.

I don't completely agree with your view of John, but that doesn't matter, because this could be what his psyche looks like, and that's pretty much the point of this kind of fanfic anyway.

Nice hints of John/Evan too. Is a relationship between them what you want to focus your sequel on?