theeverdream (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
theeverdream) wrote2012-10-25 02:54 am
theeverdream) wrote2012-10-25 02:54 am
Entry tags:
NCIS fic: untitled 10x04 epistolary ficlet, Tony/Gibbs preslash, rated PG, 710 words
Spoilers for 10x04 ("Lost at Sea") - this story will probably make more sense if you've seen the episode first although I don't think it's necessary.
Summary: Tony writes a letter to Gibbs after thinking about something that Borin said.
I've been there. Looking for a better job title, better money.
So what are you doing still working for Gibbs?
Can't offer me better people.
Gibbs -
In the time since the Happ case wrapped up I've been thinking about something Agent Borin said to me. I need to share it with you and, well, I know we've never communicated in letters much but I think this is the only way to do this.
I hope my loyalty to you has never been in question. I've made a lot of mistakes over the years but I think you know I'd do anything for you. Yes, you're a bastard, and you're also the best leader I've ever met.
I have a lot to thank you for, you know. You made an NCIS agent out of a cop and while I tried to be the best cop I could be and I felt fulfilled doing it, now that I know I can be more I can't imagine going back. You made a place for me in your home, too, where I could share if I needed to and if I couldn't, I could just be. Life's had a lot of ups and downs for the both of us but when I knocked, I always knew you weren't just there behind the door but there for me, too.
I told Agent Borin I wouldn't be able to find anyone better to work for. I think it's gone without saying for a long time - as long as you're leading this team, I'll be on it.
After that, Borin said something... well, you know the stupid bet McGee and I had with Ziva about dates, and Borin knew too since Ziva told her, so she said she wouldn't go on a date with me - and that I had better people to ask.
And I'd just finished telling her there was nobody better than you.
And... I don't know, but I bet just like my loyalty, my crush on you isn't a big secret either. I'm not quite sure what Borin was getting at, if anything, but she got me thinking. I've always admired you, Boss, ever since Baltimore, and it's gotten mixed up over the years with the steak dinners and that personal space invasion thing you do and the constant pushing me to be more, and it ended up at a place where knowing you were proud of something I did was the best feeling I could imagine.
Sure, I've noticed your hands, the way you hold a gun or your woodworking tools; your smell; the way the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when you sneak up on me, and it's not just apprehension that you've caught me doing something I shouldn't be, but a reaction to your presence - the power of a presence that can fill a room, being so close to me. But I always felt that, if I had to put a label on things, it was professional admiration that I had for you.
Maybe I was being naive. But when I would sit alone in my living room, thinking about you, I'd always be thinking of the job, too. Were you proud of me, did I get too distracted on the last case, did my report satisfy you... and over and over, I'd think of the examples you set in the field, in interrogation, the bullpen, even the car.
But I've done a lot of thinking, and I'm sure, now: it's not just professional.
I don't know what you want to do with this, Gibbs. If you don't like it, all you have to do is say so and I'll be fine with it; I know the only way you'd treat me differently is if I did my job differently, and I don't plan on letting that happen.
I know there are a bunch of potential reasons not to like something like this or not to care, and if I had to guess I'd say rule twelve isn't the only one for you.
But if I'm wrong...?
I've never expected anything in return for my loyalty except that you'd keep leading. And I'll keep following you even if you burn this letter and never say a word about it. But I'm asking you, Gibbs, please - if it's only rule twelve, would you give us a chance?
- Tony
Summary: Tony writes a letter to Gibbs after thinking about something that Borin said.
So what are you doing still working for Gibbs?
Can't offer me better people.
Gibbs -
In the time since the Happ case wrapped up I've been thinking about something Agent Borin said to me. I need to share it with you and, well, I know we've never communicated in letters much but I think this is the only way to do this.
I hope my loyalty to you has never been in question. I've made a lot of mistakes over the years but I think you know I'd do anything for you. Yes, you're a bastard, and you're also the best leader I've ever met.
I have a lot to thank you for, you know. You made an NCIS agent out of a cop and while I tried to be the best cop I could be and I felt fulfilled doing it, now that I know I can be more I can't imagine going back. You made a place for me in your home, too, where I could share if I needed to and if I couldn't, I could just be. Life's had a lot of ups and downs for the both of us but when I knocked, I always knew you weren't just there behind the door but there for me, too.
I told Agent Borin I wouldn't be able to find anyone better to work for. I think it's gone without saying for a long time - as long as you're leading this team, I'll be on it.
After that, Borin said something... well, you know the stupid bet McGee and I had with Ziva about dates, and Borin knew too since Ziva told her, so she said she wouldn't go on a date with me - and that I had better people to ask.
And I'd just finished telling her there was nobody better than you.
And... I don't know, but I bet just like my loyalty, my crush on you isn't a big secret either. I'm not quite sure what Borin was getting at, if anything, but she got me thinking. I've always admired you, Boss, ever since Baltimore, and it's gotten mixed up over the years with the steak dinners and that personal space invasion thing you do and the constant pushing me to be more, and it ended up at a place where knowing you were proud of something I did was the best feeling I could imagine.
Sure, I've noticed your hands, the way you hold a gun or your woodworking tools; your smell; the way the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when you sneak up on me, and it's not just apprehension that you've caught me doing something I shouldn't be, but a reaction to your presence - the power of a presence that can fill a room, being so close to me. But I always felt that, if I had to put a label on things, it was professional admiration that I had for you.
Maybe I was being naive. But when I would sit alone in my living room, thinking about you, I'd always be thinking of the job, too. Were you proud of me, did I get too distracted on the last case, did my report satisfy you... and over and over, I'd think of the examples you set in the field, in interrogation, the bullpen, even the car.
But I've done a lot of thinking, and I'm sure, now: it's not just professional.
I don't know what you want to do with this, Gibbs. If you don't like it, all you have to do is say so and I'll be fine with it; I know the only way you'd treat me differently is if I did my job differently, and I don't plan on letting that happen.
I know there are a bunch of potential reasons not to like something like this or not to care, and if I had to guess I'd say rule twelve isn't the only one for you.
But if I'm wrong...?
I've never expected anything in return for my loyalty except that you'd keep leading. And I'll keep following you even if you burn this letter and never say a word about it. But I'm asking you, Gibbs, please - if it's only rule twelve, would you give us a chance?
- Tony